


Poppy

by KalluraIcedCoffee



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crushes, F/M, Family, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Hijinks & Shenanigans, PlanceKalluraWeek2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-08-14 05:54:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16487084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KalluraIcedCoffee/pseuds/KalluraIcedCoffee
Summary: A flower that blooms in the desertA collection of stories for Plance x Kallura Week 2018





	1. Secrets & Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Spy Who Loved Me
> 
> They should have gone out to eat instead

Pidge brought the large soup spoon to her mouth and sipped the sauce slowly, analyzing the taste.

“Hmm, needs more salt” she muttered to herself.

The boys were going to be here any moment and she wanted to make sure dinner was perfect. It had been a long time since either she or Allura had dated. Everything needed to go smoothly, even this damn spaghetti sauce.

“Pidge!” Allura yelled from the living room she was currently tidying up.

“What?!”

“What did I tell you about leaving your things lying around?”

Allura stood there in a very flattering red dress, one hand on her hip, the other pinching the barrel of a pistol between her thumb and index finger as if it was a smelly sock.

“Ooh, my bad sorry!” Pidge jogged out from kitchen, took the gun from her and disappeared down the hallway.

Allura rolled her eyes and continued to fuss over the room, fluffing pillows, lighting candles, making sure the space looked inviting. When the doorbell rang Allura skipped to the door just as Pidge ran back out, removing her apron.

“Hi!” Allura grinned as she opened the door. “Come on in guys!”

Lance and Keith entered the townhouse, Keith’s jaw nearly hit the floor.

“I thought you said Pidge works at the café with you?” Keith whispered.

“She does” Lance whispered back.

“How the hell can they afford a place like this making minimum wage at a coffee shop?”

“I dunno maybe Allura’s an investment banker or something can you focus please?”

“So I get the rich one? Cool.” Keith smirked.

Lance and Pidge had just started “hanging out” but this was the first time he was to come over to her place. When Pidge mentioned she had a cute roommate and he mentioned he had a single friend they decided to make a night of it.

The two boys walked into the living room where Pidge joined them.

“You look amazing.” Lance eyed her black blouse and skinny jeans before taking Pidge’s hand and kissing it.

“Heh thanks…” She pushed up her glasses up off her reddening cheeks.

“Would you two like a drink?” Allura offered.

“Yeah that’d be great” Keith replied, looking her up and down with a pleased expression.

She walked to the fridge and came back with two beers. Without even thinking she pulled out a switchblade from lord knows where and used it to pop the caps off the beverages, spinning it around in her fingers casually before folding it back shut.

Keith and Lance stared at her with their mouths gaping open.

“What.” She blinked.

“Allura!” Pidge yelped before laughing nervously.

“Oh uh…self defense class.” She shrugged anxiously before handing them the bottles.

“Well damn in that case remind me to let you walk us to our car tonight” Lance joked.

Allura quickly scurried into the kitchen where the two girls huddled quickly before pulling down dishes to set the table.

“Really?” Pidge hissed.

“Habit. I’m sorry!” She growled before taking the plates into the dining room.

The boys helped the girls bring the food to the table, along with more beers and the four sat down to eat.

“So Allura Lance tells me you work at a gym?” Keith asked, making conversation.

“Yeah, I’m a fitness instructor.”

“Cool, must be nice to have a job that helps you stay in shape.”

“Yeah, I’m really active in general so it comes in handy, whether it’s needing to run long distances, climb the side of a building or repel down into a room from a ceiling vent.”

Lance and Keith stared at her with furrowed brows. Pidge kicked her under the table.

“Just kidding!” She giggled half heartedly before cringing at herself while twirling pasta in her fork.

Everyone sort of chuckled. Lance attempted to move on to a different topic when Pidge’s phone went off. She looked at it and her eyes went wide.

“I’m so sorry I have to take this,” she excused herself from the table.

She stepped out of the room but not before they overheard a portion of her conversation.

“Ich habe dir gesagt, dass du mich nie unter dieser nummer anrufen sollst...” she reprimanded whomever was on the other end.

Lance chewed his meatball slowly.

“I didn’t know she spoke German…” he said.

“Uh…heh she didn’t tell you? Yeah she speaks lots of languages. Her parents wanted to make sure she was very cultured.” Allura smiled with gritted teeth before downing her beer. “Does anyone want more rolls?”

She excused herself from the table as well and Keith immediately leaned in.

“Ok look, I’ll admit these girls are hot, 10 out of 10, but they’re weird as hell!” Keith snapped.

“Maybe they’re just more nervous than we are?” Lance tried to be hopeful but he was starting to feel suspicious as well.

“Two girls working regular ass jobs affording a place like this? One just happens to speak fluent German and you’re always telling me how she suddenly has to leave work or your dates for weird reasons. The other one is talking about dropping down from ceilings like some sort of jewel thief and I’m pretty sure she could gut us both with the knife she had hidden…where exactly?”

“They’re just eccentric?”

“McClain!”

Pidge returned before they could finish arguing and Allura reappeared with another basket of bread.

“Can I use your bathroom?” Lance suddenly blurted out.

“Uh sure, down the hall and to the right.”

He smiled and disappeared from the room.

“So Keith, what do you do for a living?” Allura tried to save what she felt was a bumbling evening going downhill.

“Nothing as interesting as what you do I’m sure.” He pushed his food around on the plate eyeing her suspiciously.

“E-Excuse me?”

The two locked eyes and it seemed like each person was waiting for the other to give something up when they heard Lance scream from elsewhere in the house.

“HOLY SHIT!”

The three at the table all exchanged concerned glances before bounding from the table and heading to the source of the noise.

Keith got there first, following the light into a small walk in closet in the bathroom, past shelves of towels and toilet paper into a hidden room that had revealed itself from the accidental pulling of a coat hook when Lance attempted to hang up robe that had fallen from it. He stepped inside to see a very upscale posh looking space. Glass cases on the wall were lined with weapons, accessories and disguises with cherry wood drawers opened up to reveal various gadgets. It looked like the kind of thing seen in the spy movies they watched during their “boys night” sessions. Lance was already standing in the middle of the room, looking at everything in complete confused shocked awe. Keith staggered in to join him.

“Oh fuck” Pidge uttered standing in the doorway as Allura came up behind her.

The two boys turned to their dates with expressions that demanded an immediate explanation.

“Heh,” Allura bit her lip sheepishly, “surprise!”

Pidge elbowed her in the stomach.

“You don’t just work at the gym and the café do you?” Lance stood with both hands on his hips.

“No,” Pidge pinched the bridge of her nose wondering how in the hell they were going to get themselves out of this mess, “no we don’t.”


	2. Parenthood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess Who’s Having a Baby?: No seriously…guess

Allura’s phone buzzed and when she looked at the caller her face lit up.

“Hey Katie! What’s u-”

“KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN AND GO SOMEWHERE PRIVATE!” the voice hissed in hushed tones on the other end.

“Why are we whispering?”

“JUST DO IT!”

Allura looked around. Keith was outside mowing the lawn. She excused herself to the bedroom and shut the door.

“What’s going on?”

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“WHAT?!”

“I SAID KEEP YOUR GODDAMN VOICE DOWN!”

“Ok ok sorry. Are you sure? How do you know?”

“My period has been harder to find than Where’s Waldo.”

“Did you take a test?”

“I have one but I haven’t taken it. I’m scared. I wanna know, but then I don’t” Katie’s voice softened.

“Look come over and you can do it here, I’ll be with you.”

“With Keith there?”

“All the guys are going to the baseball game tomorrow remember? Come then.”

“Ok…ok…thanks Lura.”

“No problem. Everything is going to be ok no matter what.”

“I know, I know. Ok bye.”

The next night Allura and Katie sat in Allura and Keith’s master bathroom waiting for what felt like an eternity. Katie sat on the edge of the bathtub while Allura perched herself on the counter. Katie held the little white stick in her trembling hands.

“Oh my god I see something. A blue line! No, two blue lines! What does two blue lines mean?!”

Allura picked up the box and turned it over, studying the back.

“Well,” Allura said slowly, “we’re having a baby!”

“Oh god…oh god oh god oh god.” Katie leapt up and snatched the box out of her hand, giving it a second look.

“I know it seems scary now, but you guys are gonna be great parents! Motherhood is beautiful and magical!” Allura tried to comfort her.

“If it’s so beautiful and magical why aren’t you and Keith trying?” Katie arched a brow.

“Uh…well…you see, uh…look this isn’t about us right now. How are you going to tell Lance?”

Katie tapped her finger to her chin.

“I was thinking we could just not tell him, like until the baby pops out. By then I’ll have thought of something.” She smiled.

“Katherine Elizabeth McClain.”

“I just need a little time! I’ll figure it out. And don’t use my full name in that tone you sound like my mother.” She slapped Allura’s arm.

Suddenly the ladies could hear the front door open and close.

“Allura? Baby I’m home!” Keith’s distant muffled voice could be heard through the locked bathroom door.

“Shit shit shit he’s home early! What do we do?”

Then came a knock.

“Babe you in here? You ok?” Keith asked from the other side.

Katie and Allura panicked. Allura grabbed the pregnancy test and shoved it in a stack of hand towels that were purely meant for decoration while Katie took the box and threw it out the window. Allura shoved Katie while mouthing “what the hell are you doing?!” to which Katie shook her head frantically and shrugged.

They straightened themselves up, put on their best innocent smiles and opened the door.

“Hi darling!”

Keith looked at his wife, then at Katie, together, in a locked bathroom.

“Everything ok?” he asked.

“Yes, just…uh…” She looked at Katie.

“Doin girl stuff…y’know facials and uh beauty things” Katie finished.

She cringed at her own bullshit.

“Ok…” His eyes narrowed.

“Well gotta go! See ya later Allura!”

Katie moseyed by Keith before practically sprinting down the stairs out the door, making sure to snatch up the box in their front yard before getting into her car.

“Well if you’re done doing uh girl stuff, can I use the bathroom? Traffic back from the game was terrible and I’ve been holding it for like an hour.”

“Sure honey. I’ll go get dinner started!” She kissed his cheek and skipped out of the room.

Keith shook his head, accepting that he would never understand women and shut the door. After relieving himself and washing up he did the one thing Allura constantly scolded him for: wiping his hands on the goddamn decorative towels.

_EXACTLY FOUR MINUTES LATER…_

Lance’s cellphone went off while he was still in the car. He answered it and put it on speakerphone.

“Hey Keith! What’s u-”

“KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN AND GO SOMEWHERE PRIVATE!”

“Why are you yelling?”

“JUST DO IT!”

 “I’m in the car by myself, chill out. What’s going on?”

“Allura is pregnant.”

“WHAT?!”

“I SAID KEEP YOUR GODDAMN VOICE DOWN!”

“I’m alone idiot! Now are you sure? How do you know?”

“I found a pregnancy test hidden in the bathroom!”

“Whoa, way to go sharp shooter!”

“This is not the time for jokes.”

“Well were you trying?”

Keith paused.

“Well we weren’t trying, but we weren’t exactly not trying y’know?”

“Oh I know.”

“What do I do?”

“Wear condoms next time?”

“Lance!”

“Look you don’t want it to look like you were snooping so just give her time and wait for her to tell you.”

Keith sighed.

“You’re right…”

“Duh. Now put it back and pretend you never saw it.”

Keith hung up and placed the little white stick of destiny back where he found it and went downstairs to have dinner with his wife.

A couple weeks later the Koganes had the McClains over for dinner and a game night.

“I mean it’s a decent show, but it’s not realistic. Like giant robot cats that morph and turn into a giant robot man?” Lance scoffed before sipping his beer.

“Right? Like shouldn’t they at least turn into an even bigger cat?” Keith chimed in.

“But Cattron sounds stupid.” Katie chuckled.

“And that princess character? Her ears are so weird!” Allura said as she grabbed the wine bottle in front of Keith and poured herself a glass.

Both men stopped abruptly and watched her intently as she filled it up.

“Uh, are you sure you should be drinking that hun?” Keith asked casually.

Allura blinked and titled her head.

“Why not?”

“Uh…well,” he met eyes with Lance and did he best to no give himself away, “you shouldn’t drink too much it’s not good for your health.”

“But you’re drinking.”

Keith looked at his own glass of wine. How was he going to broach this without letting Allura know that he knew about the you-know-what?

Allura shrugged and brought the wine glass to her lips.

“You can’t drink that, think about the baby!” Lance blurted out, slamming his hands on the table.

A pin drop could’ve been heard in the resulting silence.

“I’m sorry, think about the what?” Allura nearly choked on her chardonnay.

“The…baby?” Lance was suddenly not so sure about his words.

“What baby?”

“The baby we’re having” Keith finally cut in. “It’s ok Lu, I know.”

“Know what?!” Allura yelled, feeling like she was losing her mind.

“I found the pregnancy test.”

Allura did a double take. Katie sunk down in her chair.

“Oh…” She put her glass down.

“And I just want you to know it’s ok. It was a surprise for sure but I’m up for anything as long as we’re together. You’re gonna make a great mom.”

Allura’s lip quivered as she brought a hand to her heart while taking Keith’s hand in hers.

“Darling that is incredibly sweet and it means the world that you’re supportive but the test isn’t mine.”

“It’s…it’s not?” Keith pouted, confused, relieved, disappointed all at once.

“Then who the hell was it?” Lance questioned.

Allura’s gaze fluttered over to Katie. Keith followed. Then Lance.

Katie had slid so deep in her seat she was practically under the table.

“K-Kit Kat?” Lance’s face softened.

“It’s mine” she grumbled, keeping her eyes down.

Lance felt his heart skip.

“I was gonna tell you, I just didn’t know how and I wanted to see the doctor first to confirm and…well we’re gonna have a baby.” She smiled anxiously.

Lance just stared at her then the tears welled in his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away before they fell.

“I’m gonna be a dad?....I’M GONNA BE A DAD! HOLY SHIT I’M GONNA BE A DAD!”

Lance leapt out of his chair and yanked Katie to her feet, cupping her face in his hands and peppering it with kisses.

Keith and Allura held each other’s hands tightly as they looked on at their friends, hearts full.

“I gotta call mom and dad and grandma and Veronica is gonna piss herself and then we gotta call Sam and Colleen and Matt and Hunk will wanna know and-”

“Ok ok easy there champ.” Katie wrapped her arms around his waist. “How about we just enjoy tonight and we can do the press conference tomorrow?” she joked.

Lance nodded and kissed the top of her head.

“I love you” he whispered in her hair.

“I love you too” she murmured back.

They finished out the dinner, Allura was allowed to finish her wine and they played a few rounds of Pictionary before calling it a night.

“I can’t believe Katie and Lance are gonna be parents” Keith said as he slipped into bed.

“Pretty crazy huh?” Allura replied as she tied up her hair.

“Yeah but they’ll be great don’t you think?”

She nodded in agreement.

“Man I really goofed earlier didn’t I?” He grabbed Allura and snuggled up close.

“You did, but it was sweet that you handled the news so well, even if it turned out to be a false alarm.”

“Well if it happens for us one day it’ll be fine.” He kissed her nose.

“It will.” She looked up at him and lifted her head until her lips met his.

He returned her affection, kissing her a bit more deeply. She sighed happily into his mouth, wrapping her arms around his neck. He pulled back and began to nibble a trail down her throat while working his hand up her nightgown.

_EXACTLY TWO MONTHS LATER…_

Katie sat at her office desk, typing a lengthy email when her ringtone sounded off. She picked it up and tucked it between her ear and shoulder as her fingers continued to tick away at the keys.

“Hey Allura, what’s u-”

“KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN AND GO SOMEWHERE PRIVATE!” she whispered in a distressed tone.

“Why are you whispering yet yelling at me at the same time?”          

“JUST DO IT!”


	3. Sunset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life’s A Beach: Why is the rum always gone?

 “You know, it could be worse.”

“Why would you say that?!” Allura snapped, turning her head toward Lance.

“What?”

“You know what happens when you say things like that. It always gets worse! You’re a goddamn jinx!”

“Well that’s rude.” Lance pouted.

“Shut up both of you!” Captain Holt shouted, gun pointed.

The pair stood at the end of a long plank, each tied by their wrists in addition to being tied to each other, back to back. The ocean rolled beneath them.

“You betrayed me for this?” Captain Holt spit in the direction of their feet. “For this hussy?”

“Hussy!” Allura screeched and wriggled in her restraints.

“Katherine, darling I assure you she’s not _MY_ hussy.”

“It’s Pidge! Captain Pidge Holt!” she corrected loudly.

“Can everyone stop calling me a hussy please?” Allura interjected.

“I SAID QUIET!”

Pidge cocked her gun and re-aimed. Lance had rattled her and she needed to reaffirm dominance in front of her crew, can’t have your captain getting all emotional over a lover after all.

“Enough talk, send him to the depths” the first mate suggested with arms crossed and a smirk.

“You’re right Kogane but there’s a way of doing things, even amongst us pirates.”

“Is it too late to invoke parlay?” Allura tried to cut in politely.

“It’s much too late for thieves like you sweetness.” Keith responded.

“Says the pirate.” Allura scoffed.

Keith glared at her, albeit playfully, with dark black lined eyes. She nervously avoided his gaze as she did every time she caught him staring at her.

 Captain Holt regained everyone’s attention and began going through the usual custom discourse given when sending someone over the plank, last rites and all that. The speech was going on a bit long and it became increasingly odd that no one other than Allura and Lance appeared to notice the sky begin to darken in addition to a deep low groan that seemed to come from far away and yet beneath them at the same time.

Allura peered down over the narrow plank into the waters below and, if her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her, she was seeing something very massive moving underneath the ship.

“Lance, remember when you said it could be worse?” she whispered.

“The worse thing is about to happen isn’t it?” He looked up at the sky to see lightening flashing in the distance.

“I hate you. I just wanted you to know before we die.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re upset because you think this is my fault.”

“This is your fault. This is 100 percent your fault.”

“Why must we always fight when we-”

The crew’s screams cut through their little argument as a giant tentacle rose from the water, dark and menacing and covered in hooks and suckers, dripping as it slammed down on the ship cutting off the bow.

Bodies went flying and Lance and Allura, tied up in a neat little package, went tumbling over the plank and into the water.

“Lance!” Pidge screamed and without a second thought dived in after him.

Keith, watching it all go down and having loyalty to his captain, rolled his eyes, cursed under his breath, held his dagger between his teeth and jumped in after her. The ship was doomed anyway.

The next time Lance opened his eyes he was laying on the beach with Pidge cradling his head in her lap, wet hair sticking to her face.

“Am I dead?”

“No you idiot.”

“You came in after me.”

“You saw that huh?”

“I’m sorry about your ship.”

“I’ll get another.”

“I’m sorry about your crew.”

“I’ll get another one of those too. I am pretty sore about losing my captain’s hat though.”

“Wow you’re cold.” He laughed hoarsely.

“Shut it.” She leaned down and kissed his forehead.

He looked up and smiled.

“And I’m not with Allura, she’s just my partner.”

“I figured when she started choking you right before we tied you up, but I was still mad. You know me and my temper.”

“Brat.” He reached up and touched her face.

Not too far away on the shore Allura was returning to consciousness to feel a pair of lips on hers, air filling her lungs. She still felt disoriented and thought maybe she was dreaming, perhaps even hallucinating so she, may have, sort of kissed the lips back, whimpering ever so slightly into their mouth.

“Welcome back sweetness” a deep gruff voice floated into her ears.

That’s when her eyes shot open and she sat up with a jolt. Keith sat there, facing her with a very knowing, very irritating smirk.

“Well, um, thank you kind sir for saving my life.” She attempted to smooth back her soaked messy hair and fix her shirt.

“Welcome. Thanks for the reward.” He leaned back, resting on his palms

Her face flushed and she bit her lip.

“That was a mistake.”

“Didn’t feel like one.”

“You’re rather presumptuous aren’t you?”

He shrugged.

“Are you two all right?” Pidge interrupted them as she approached with Lance by her side.

“We’re just great, aren’t we sweetness?”

Allura tried her best to ignore him while getting up.

“We’re fine. You?”

“We’re not kraken food so I’d say we’re doing great!” Lance replied.

“And some supplies actually washed ashore” Pidge added.

“Like rum!” Lance blurted out.

“Well let’s crack it open, I could certainly use a drink” Keith grumbled while climbing to his feet.

After building a fire the four sat on the beach. They passed a bottle of rum between them looking like human disasters while they watched the waves crash and roll. The sun was setting by this time, turning the sky hues of pink and orange and gold. The last bits of sunlight reflected in their eyes.

“Is this the craziest thing that’s ever happen to us?” Lance asked, taking a drink and handing it to Pidge. He had one hand draped around her while holding the bottle with the other.

“Honestly? Not our first kraken.” Pidge took a swig and passed it to Keith.

“First one to take down our ship though.” Keith gulped the liquid down and handed it to Allura.

She grabbed the rum from him and their fingers touched, lingered for a moment before she took it and sipped. He gave her a look and she smirked back at him.

“So how are we getting off this island?” She finally asked the obvious question they had been avoiding for hours now.

They all looked at each other, not really sure what the hell they were going to do.

“Let’s think about it tomorrow,” Pidge reached out to take the bottle back. “Tonight we drink.”


	4. Body/Role Swap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mix & Match: There’s a little bit of you in everything I do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is a continuation of sorts of [ this drabble](https://kalluraicedcoffee.tumblr.com/post/177274522646/connect) I did about Keith and Allura connecting and seeing each other's past lives.

The first time Keith and Allura had swapped quintessence, so to speak, it was more than they had bargained for and they ended up seeing each other’s entire lives through each other’s eyes. It was a lot, it was overwhelming and it should have been a one time thing, but now they couldn’t help themselves. The addiction of feeling each other so intimately was real and they often stole themselves away to engage in this practice of cycling their life force into one another with Allura as the conduit. 

Except this last time.

“It’s MY console!”

“It’s OUR console!”

“You helped get it for me! Me! Not you!

“I crawled into that damn fountain and nearly got arrested by mall police! That baby is as good as mine as it is yours!”

“That was a gift! You don’t try and take a gift you gave to someone else!”

“Ugh, can you guys please settle this?!”

Pidge and Lance had stormed into Allura’s room at the Garrison, completely ignoring the part where Keith and Allura were sitting on her bed, hands held in a meditative state.

“I’m the one who wanted the video game in the first place! It should stay with me!

“But you wouldn’t even have it without me!”

The two paladins continued to squabble over custody rights, and the fighting got louder and louder, and Allura’s eye twitched and her mouth curled into a scowl as parts of herself and parts of Keith were flowing in and out of her body and they wouldn’t shut up about this goddamn game and finally…

She just…

Snapped.

“ENOUGH!” Allura screamed and in the process, a burst of energy rippled from her epicenter and moved outward, knocking Keith back and sending Lance and Pidge into a wall before they slumped over onto the floor.

“What was that?!” Lance blinked as he came to.

“A reminder not to piss Allura off.” Pidge held a hand to her chest trying to catch her breath.

“I’m so sorry, is everyone all right?!” Allura looked over them with concern.

“We’re ok. I think.” Keith’s thoughts felt jumbled and he himself felt disoriented.

They dusted themselves off and nothing seemed immediately out of place so they chalked it up to just a random experience, an “Allura is doing her weird magic stuff again” and went to bed without giving it a second thought.

When Lance woke up the next morning he didn’t think he felt any different. Breakfast went normally and it wasn’t until he spotted Pidge in the hallway that he sensed something was off but couldn’t figure out why.

He had never seen her wear makeup since he’d known her, but here she was dolled up, hair styled and surrounded by a group of young cadets. She was chatting away, laughing, being playful.

“Scott was it?” She smiled while autographing a slip of paper before sticking a lipstick kiss on it.

Lance’s brow arched.

“I can’t believe we know THE green paladin of Voltron! Can we get a selfie?” The boy asked and the others nodded in agreement.

Pidge stood, nestled in her little harem and smiled at the camera being held out, hands formed into finger guns. There was something about this that seemed awfully familiar and the entire scene had Lance seething. First of all how dare she look this gorgeous so early in the morning and second, how come she never giggled and slapped his arm like that while telling him how funny he was? He stormed over and snatched her away just as they finished up the photo session.

“Ow! Chill much?”

“What are you doing?!”

“Making friends.”

“Flirting! You were flirting and frankly you should be ashamed of yourself, do you even know those boys?”

“No, but who cares, they know me.”

She took a compact out of her pocket and began checking her lipgloss. It wasn’t until she stared at her reflection that she seemed to snap out of her…whatever it was that had come over her.

“What am I doing?” She looked up at him.

“You tell me lovergirl!” He placed his hands on his hips.

Their conversation was interrupted by Pidge’s father, who approached them with clipboard in hand.

“Lance, Katie.”

“Hi dad.”

“Did you forget you promised to help us brainstorm options for creating a cloaking mechanism for the Atlas?

“Do a what for the what?” Pidge looked at him utterly confused.

“A cloaking mechanism for the Atlas” Lance repeated. “Realistically you have a few options. We could use optical camouflage or reduce temperatures of the outer surface of the ship to lessen electromagnetic emissions.”

Sam and Pidge stared at him, mouths agape. Sam’s glasses slid down his nose.

“What?” Lance shrugged.

“Lance you can barely remember what you had for breakfast, how the hell do you know about cloaking techniques?” Pidge asked incredulously.

Lance went to answer except, he wasn’t quite sure. It had sort of just rolled off his tongue naturally.

“Something’s wrong” Pidge blurted out.

“Very” Lance agreed.

Meanwhile Shiro and Hunk were sitting in the dining hall with Keith, gawking as they watched him eat. Not only had Keith come to breakfast with his hair neatly gelled and brushed back, but he was currently sitting with impeccable posture while cutting his pancakes into perfect identical pieces. A napkin was unfolded in his lap and after he took each bite he’d sip his juice delicately, never slurping, that was bad manners.

“Keith…”

“Yes Takashi?”

Shiro and Hunk glanced at each other before he continued.

“Is everything ok?”

“It’s splendid, why do you ask?” He smiled.

Another flicker of eye contact between the captain and yellow paladin.

“Nothing. You just seem…different” Hunk chimed in.

“Well I feel fine. Although…”

They both leaned in.

“Yes?” Shiro urged.

“It’s silly.”

“Just tell us.”

“Well,” Keith placed his fork and knife down on the table, “I’ve been feeling a little self conscious this morning. I woke up and I just thought…well my ears are just so ugly.”

Tears welled up in his eyes.

“Wait what?” Hunk nearly did a double take.

“They’re just so round!” Keith erupted into a blubbering fit, snatching the napkin to hide his face. “How will Allura ever love me with ears like this?”

He blew his nose into the napkin with a loud exaggerated honk.

Shiro’s face perked up while Hunk was still dumbfounded.

“I’m sorry, did you just say ‘how will Allura ever love you’?”

Keith realized what he’d just said and his face turned fifty shades of pink before he quickly got up from the table.

“E-excuse me, I have things to attend to!”

Shiro and Hunk watched him run out, not sure what the hell had just happened but pleased that they now had blackmail on the black paladin.

Keith darted out into the hallway when he nearly collided with Pidge and Lance.

“Keith! Thank god we found you. Are you feeling, y’know, ok?”

“Honestly? I just had a rather humiliating exchange in the cafeteria that I would rather not discuss, but yeah I’m not ok. I know it sounds crazy but I don’t feel like myself.”

“Oh my god us too!” Pidge grabbed him by the arms.

“Are you wearing mascara?” Keith sniffled as he dabbed his nose with the cloth.

Pidge quickly let go of him with a glare before quickly changing the subject.

 “You guys don’t think this had anything to do with that incident last night do you? When Allura got all mad and did that little blasty thing?” She tapped her finger to her chin.

“The shockwave of concentrated quintessence caused by the princess’ momentary emotional outburst could be what’s causing the current abnormalities and changes in personality traits that we’re currently experiencing” Lance said nonchalantly.

Keith and Pidge blinked at him silently.

“What?” Lance looked at them, puzzled.

“Let’s find Allura. Now!” Keith shook his head and marched off with the other two in tow.

After asking around they finally found Allura in an empty hanger. She was climbing on top of a hover bike that clearly did not belong to her.

“Thank goodness we’ve been looking all over for y-”

“Are you stealing that?” Pidge pointed to the cruiser the princess was currently perched on.

Allura sat up on the bike. She had her hair down, some of it obscuring half her face. Her cadet jacket was off and tied around her waist, revealing the white fitted tank top she had on underneath.

“I’m not stealing it, I’m just taking it for a little spin.” The normal lilt in her voice was gone, replaced by a deeper tone dripping with attitude.

“Princess taking things that don’t belong to you is wrong.” Keith’s brow furrowed.

Allura scoffed and rolled her eyes before leaning over on the handle bars and narrowing her eyes at Keith.

“So then you don’t wanna ride?” She bit her lip.

“I’d love to” Keith blurted out, stumbling toward her before Lance grabbed him by the collar.

“Allura that blast you hit us with last might has us all messed up, you’ve got to fix this!” Lance pleaded.

The princess pondered his words. She had felt off all morning, and irritated, and every time she saw James Griffin she wanted to deck him in his chiseled jaw.

“Perhaps you have a point. Keith and I were in the midst of exchanging our quintessence when you interrupted. I may have accidentally exchanged all our quintessence.”

“Well can you put everything back?” Pidge asked.

“I’m sure I could…but I’m gonna go for that ride first.” Allura smirked starting up the bike.

“Are you serious?!” Lance yelped.

“Very. Coming?” She winked at Keith who was looking at her, utterly smitten.

“Yes!” He pushed Lance and Pidge aside and slid on behind her, wrapping his arms around her middle, holding her tight.

Lance and Pidge watched in dismay as they took off into the desert leaving a cloud of dust in their wake.

“So what do we do until they come back?” He pouted.

“Lay low I guess…” Pidge shrugged.

There was an awkward silence, before Lance spoke up again.

“You weren’t really hitting on those guys earlier were you?”

“Worried?” Pidge gave him a knowing grin.

“No! I’m just curious is all.”

Pidge giggled and patted his shoulder.

“You have nothing to worry about. My relationship with those guys is purely planetonic” she assured him before walking away.

Lance sighed with relief before his face twisted into a perplexed state.

“Wait a second, THAT’S NOT EVEN A REAL WORD!”


	5. Competition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peek-a-boo: Just a friendly little card game…
> 
> (slight nsfw, implied nudity)

“Ugh, I fold.” Allura threw her cards down on the table.

“Then you know the rules Princess!” Pidge adjusted the green visor on her head, the stick of a lollipop poking out from the side of her mouth.

“Honestly I think this is a little unfair considering this is an earth game that I am not fully accustomed to.” Allura crossed her arms in a huff.

“Uh considering some of us are doing worse than you, you can go ahead and shut it.” Lance snapped, sitting in nothing but his boxers and socks.

Allura rolled her eyes and grabbed the hem of her top, pulling it slowly over her head and tossing it aside on top of her shoes. She rubbed away the goosebumps on her arms.

Keith was trying not to look, trying not to care, but his eyes drifted, fluttered, studied the curves, the pink lace. He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. He tried to think about less exciting things.

“Don’t get all Galra on us now.” Lance smirked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Keith grumbled.

“If the table lifts off the ground we’ll know what happened.” Pidge quipped.

Lance and Pidge cackled while slapping five. Allura looked perplexed. Keith wanted to murder them both.

“What does that mean?” She blinked innocently.

“N-nothing. It means nothing, they’re just being stupid.” Keith hurriedly explained. “Let’s just finish the damn round.”

The four sat in a small shared common area between Lance and Hunk’s bedrooms in their living quarters. It was almost one in the morning and they had set up a fold out table to play a not so innocent game of strip poker.

“Why did we decide to play this anyway?” Allura asked.

“Cause it’s the Garrison and there isn’t shit else to do here if we aren’t getting attacked by aliens.” Lance rifled through his cards.

“And we’re not old enough to drink” Pidge muttered.

“Speak for yourself youngin.” Keith smiled.

“My time is near!” She replied, pointing her lollipop at him menacingly.

“Shouldn’t we have invited the others?” Allura pursed her lips.

“Hunk’s already passed out and I don’t need Shiro here making us feel bad with his greek god muscled ass” Lance said.

“Oh stop, I think you two look perfectly lovely.” Allura said with a smile and a slight blush, staring specifically at Keith who had lost his shirt in the previous round.

He returned her lingering gaze, a heat rising in his chest. He then nervously tore his eyes away only to notice how smooth her shoulders looked and oh she had markings other than those on her cheeks and wouldn’t it be nice if he could kiss every single…

He shook the thoughts from his head.

“I certainly wouldn’t kick you outta bed for eating crackers” Pidge complimented Lance with a wink.

Lance’s face lit up.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” She shrugged cutely.

Lance suddenly sat up straight with new found confidence, flexing his arms for the green paladin just a little bit.

Pidge wasn’t just being polite. Lance was lean but toned and his abs did not go unnoticed. There were a few times in their old Garrison days, when he thought she was still a boy, that they changed in front of each other and she may have peeked. Oh boy did she peek. In fact some of those mental images got her through the space madness.

A few rounds later Lance had a pillow over his lap and nothing else, Pidge was in a tank top and underwear and Keith in his boxers. Allura meanwhile still had her pants on and proudly laid her cards on the table.

“I won again!” She beamed as she bounced in her seat clapping.

“I thought you said this game was unfair cause you didn’t understand it?” Lance slammed his hand down on the table.

“I learn quickly.”

“Yeah no kidding.” Pidge uttered tossing her cards away from her in defeat.

“Well I’m beat and Lance literally has nothing left to lose so we should call it a night.” Keith stretched in his chair.

“Yeah I’m getting a little cold. No jokes please.”

Lance stood up carefully, still covering his dignity with the cushion as he tried his best to dip down and grab his clothes without showing everything. He finally gave up and bent over. Pidge’s lollipop nearly flopped out of her mouth as it fell open. Keith kicked her under the table with a knowing smirk. Allura giggled.

They dressed and said their goodnights. Pidge offered to stay behind and help Lance clean up. Keith offered to walk Allura back to her room.

“So that was certainly interesting.” Allura kept her eyes forward.

“Yeah, definitely gave a new meaning to team bonding.” Keith chuckled.

“And Pidge’s undergarments are certainly intriguing. The bottoms said Wednesday when it’s actually Friday.”

Keith laughed.

“I must admit it was fun” she added. “As a princess I would have never been allowed to play such games back on Altea.”

“Yeah I had a good time too. Kinda bummed that I lost so badly though.”

They stopped in front of Allura’s door.

“Well goodnight Keith.”

“Goodnight Princess.”

“Hopefully we can play again sometime.”

“And have Lance’s ass cheeks seared into my memory again? I’m good.”

“Well we don’t have to play with Lance…or Pidge…perhaps you and I could play…for practice of course.” She quickly corrected herself.

Keith stared at her, at what she was implying.

“…For practice” he repeated.

“Yes well, see you tomorrow.”

Allura quickly slipped into her room and the door slid closed.

Keith tucked his hands in his pockets and moseyed the rest of the way to his room. Perhaps a private one-on-one game was in order, you know, for practice. Plus he was dying to see the locations of the rest of her markings, you know, for science.


	6. Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Borrowers: Can you keep a little secret?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late as hell but determined to finish. Also giving y'all the The Secret World of Arrietty AU no one asked for.

“C’mon!” Pidge pulled Lance by the hand.

“I’m coming I’m coming, hug your horses!”

“It’s hold your horses!”

“That’s what I said!”

“No it isn’t!”

“Look if you’re gonna keep yelling at me I’m not coming to look at your stupid flowers.” Lance yanked his hand out of hers and crossed his arms.

Pidge huffed as she puffed out her freckled cheeks. Her lip quivered.

“Oh don’t do that I’ll come.” Lance sighed.

For as long as he’d known Pidge, in the 9 out of 13 years of his life, he could never stand it when she so much as hinted at the idea of crying.

And she knew it.

And she used it to get what she wanted out of him, whether it was playing the games she wanted to play or borrowing his bike or getting the bigger cookie.

Pidge grinned, a single whole from a fallen out baby tooth ever present and snatched his hand again before dragging him through her parent’s garden.

“So what is it, like a bug or something?”

“Better!”

“A bird?”

“Better!”

“Hidden treasure?”

“Better!”

Pidge took him around a corner of tall rose bushes to an overturned mason jar on the edge of a small stone planter wall. She knelt down then ushered him over. When he sunk to his knees and peered inside his eyes went wide.

She looked like a tiny doll. A tiny doll with a little red dress and brown boots with hair the color of starlight pinned up into a ponytail using a miniature clothespin. She was pounding on the glass frantically as she stared up at them, her big blue eyes filled with fear.

“Is she…is she real?” Lance asked, stunned.

“Yeah! I found her collecting berries and piling them up right here! Isn’t she pretty?”

“Is she a fairy?”

“Hmm I dunno, she doesn’t have wings.”

“What if she can’t breathe in there?” Lance’s brow furrowed. “We gotta let her out.”

“But she’ll run away!” Pidge pouted.

“Pidge…” Lance looked at her sternly.

Pidge grumbled and slowly lifted up the jar. The tiny doll cowered near her berries, eyes darting back and forth between the two kids.

“Hi-Hi. My name is Lance and this is Pidge. We don’t want to hurt you.” Lance nudged Pidge with his elbow.

“Sorry about the jar.” Pidge apologized with a jutted out bottom lip.

There was a moment of silence as the wee little thing pondered her next move. She could run, but there were two of them and they could easily snatch her up in a heartbeat. Perhaps if she could just reason with them…

“Allura.” she said slowly.

Pidge and Lance leaned in.

“Allura!” she repeated.

The two looked at each other and smiled before looking down at her.

“Nice to meet you!”

Pidge held out her index finger. Allura cautiously reached both of her small hands out and shook it.

“Are there more of you?” Lance interjected.

Allura looked around nervously.

“N-no…”

Suddenly there was a rustling in the bushes followed by a growling before something rushed out and stuck Pidge in her finger, which was still extended.

“Stay away from her you, you giant barbarians!”

“Ow!” Pidge yelped and pulled her hand back.

Lance instinctively put his arms around her and pulled her close as they stared at a second tiny human who had put himself between them and Allura. He had black shaggy hair and a scar across his face. He had fashioned a spear of sorts from a twig with a nail secured to the end of it. He glared at them with piercing violet eyes. Allura groaned and tugged at his cloak, his presence evidence of her lie.

“Keith what are you doing here?”

“Protecting you!”

“I don’t need your protection!”

“Really because it looks like you’ve gotten yourself into trouble, again!”

“I can handle myself!” She yelled as she knelt and began stuffing the berries into her bag.

He crouched beside her to help.

“You always do this. You go off exploring when you’re supposed to be scavenging and end up in a mess. Are you hurt? Did they hurt you?” Keith caressed her face.

“I’m fine.” Allura smiled, leaning into his hand.

Lance and Pidge watched intently before Lance ruined what was a brief tender moment.

“Is he your boyfriend?”

The two little ones recoiled from each other before fiddling with their clothes and fixing their hair.

“Boyfriend? Boyfriend! What a joke!” She patted her cheeks hoping to make her blush fade.

“Ha! I would never court someone so stubborn!” Keith laughed haughtily.

Allura scowled before picking up her bag and heaving it in annoyance over her shoulder.

“Well it’s been absolutely wonderful meeting the two of you but I simply must get going.”

“Wait!” Pidge leaned forward. “Can we see you again?”

“That’s not safe.” Keith tried to shield her again.

Allura rolled her eyes and stepped out from behind him.

“I don’t know. We’re not allowed to make ourselves known to you.”

“Oh please? We won’t tell anyone! Our secret!” Lance chimed in.

Allura pursed her lips, before looking at Keith. She leaned forward until she could practically touch Pidge’s nose.

“I’ll find you when I’m ready” she whispered. “Thank you letting me go.”

She beamed and waved before hopping down into the dirt. Keith lept down after her.

“Let me take you home.”

“Are you sure you want to escort someone so stubborn?” She threw his words back at him from earlier.

He narrowed his eyes on her before taking her hand and clasping their fingers so tight she wouldn’t be able to part from him.

“Come on brat.”

“Brat? You have some nerve!”

They continued to squabble before disappearing into a rosemary bush. Lance and Pidge watched them leave before turning to each other.

“That was…”

“Amazing?” Pidge looked at him, eyes wide.

“Yeah.” Lance chuckled before his gaze fell on her hand.

He took it in his and inspected her finger. There was a tiny prick where a small drop of blood had pooled.

“You ok?”

“Yeah, just stings is all.”

Lance used his shirt to wipe her finger clean before kissing it. Pidge’s face flushed red.

“W-w-what was that for?!”

Lance shrugged.

“That’s what my mom does whenever I get hurt. Figured it might make you feel better.”

It did make her feel better. That was the problem.

“So what should we do now?” he added.

Pidge was lost in thought for a moment, focusing on how her hand felt, warm and enveloped in his before an idea struck her like lightening. She got up quickly and dashed toward the house.

“Where are you going!?” He jogged after her.

“Barbies!”

“What?”

“My old Barbies! Their clothes would fit her perfectly!”

Lance’s face contorted in confusion, wondering what the heck Allura was going to do with a hot pink metallic ball gown, but he dared not question Pidge when an idea popped into her head. It was enough to just be along for the ride, which, if he was honest with himself, he kind of liked.


	7. Double Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Happens In Vegas
> 
> ...stays in Vegas, especially if you can’t remember all of it
> 
> (aka The Hangover AU no one asked for)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 80 years later and I finally finish this collection. I changed my mind a million times about whether to do this prompt or the sleepover prompt and then when I did decide on "Double Date" how I wanted to go about it. A Kallura/Plance double date screams "fluff" and yet I went in the complete opposite direction because...of course I did.

“We should go on a couples trip!”

“Couples trip?”

“Yeah the four of us. It could be fun.”

“I’m down. Where would we go?”

“Let’s go some place exciting!”

“Vegas!”

“Lance…”

“I’m serious! See the lights, take in a show, play a couple slot machines. What’s the worst that could happen?”

**_A FEW WEEKS LATER…_ **

Allura woke up slowly, groggily, her body feeling like it weighed a million pounds and when her eyes fluttered opened the room spun a little. She rolled over with a grunt to be met with a foot on the pillow next to her. She sat up, wincing at the way her body ached with each movement to see Keith passed out in the opposite direction, head at the foot of the bed, arm dangling over the side. Her mouth tasted like a myriad of things that should never be mixed together.

She went to run a hand through her current bird’s nest of hair when the glint of sunlight off of something sparkly on her hand caught her eye. She held her left hand in front of her face, staring eye-to-eye with a diamond ring. Her blue eyes grew and she immediately looked to Keith who was still fast asleep.

Not wanting to wake him, not wanting to panic just yet, she carefully threw back the sheets to see she was in her bra and underwear and said underwear had a few twenty and hundred dollar bills tucked in the side. Her breath quickened as she pulled out the money, inspected it then put it on the nightstand. She slipped out of bed, stepping over a very tight white mini dress, heels and a veil.

“No no no no please god no” she whispered as she tip toed over to Keith and knelt down to his hanging hand. Sure enough, a silver band on his left ring finger.

Allura clamped a hand over her mouth before quickly running to the bathroom and locking herself in.

“Shit shit shit shit shit! What did we do?!” she hissed to herself as she paced back and forth in front of the mirror and that’s when she saw it in the reflection. Her mouth fell open as she stared at a white lion tattoo with flowers going up the side of her ribs. There was also a lopsided flower crown in her hair.

The squeak that left her throat was so high pitched only dogs could’ve heard it and her hand was back over her lips to stifle a scream that was begging to get out.

Allura quickly ran out of the bathroom, passed a still conked out Keith and ran into the living room of their shared suite where she nearly tripped over Lance who was asleep on the floor. He had on black slacks, no shirt, no shoes, a bow tie around his neck, a regular tie around his head and a blue lion tattooed on his back. There was also money stuffed in the waistband of his pants. He was curled up with one of the couch cushions and had a room service menu in his hand. The room was a mess.

“Lance! Lance!” Allura shook him. “Lance, get up!”

“Just five more minutes mom…” he grumbled and shooed her away.

She slapped his back, right on the fresh tat and he lurched up.

“The hell Lu?!” He growled before looking her up and down. She still hadn’t put clothes on.

“Uh look Allura I know I had a crush back in the day but I’m with Pidge now.”

“Oh would you shut up!” She slapped his arm. “What the hell happened last night?!”

Lance pursed his lips as he thought. His mind was completely blank.

“Honestly I’m not sure.”

“I think Keith and I got married last night!” she whined, showing him the ring.

“Oh shit! And you got a tattoo!” He pointed.

“So did you.”

Lance leapt up and went to look in the decorative mirror by the door.

“Ohhh….” He blinked at it a few times. “Pidge is gonna kick my ass.”

“Why would I do that?” Pidge sluggishly trotted out from the opposite bedroom rubbing her eyes.

She stopped and stared at them, at their current state. They stared back in shock.

“What the hell is going on?” she snapped.

“We could ask the same” Allura replied.

Somehow Pidge hadn’t noticed until Allura pointed it out that she was wearing a white short sleeveless wedding dress with a tiara and attached veil stuck in her hair, a green lion posing fiercely on her arm. She looked down at herself, then Lance then simultaneously they looked at their hands. At least drunk Pidge had the sense to pick out a decent ring. She lowered her hand slowly.

“Did we…”

“Yeah.”

“My parents are going to murder me.”

“Not if they don’t murder me first” Lance replied.

“If it makes you feel better…” Keith was now in the doorway showing off the ring on his finger.

His hair was sticking out everywhere. He had on a black vest but no shirt, showing off the red lion on his chest, and boxer briefs. One of his feet was bare, the other tucked in a black cowboy boot.

They met in the middle of the room and flopped down on the couch.

“What. The actual fuck. Happened last night?” Keith stated, face still in a state of disbelief.

“The last thing I remember was chugging those mai tais at that tiki bar.” Pidge’s eyes narrowed as she tried to remember.

“Then what did we do after that?” Allura tapped her finger to her lips.

The four thought, hard, and as if on cue the memories seemed to rush back to them all at once.

**_*FLASH*_ **

“Would you like to order The Golden Swan? It’s $100 but it comes in a giant gold swan with four straws and contains light and dark rum, vodka and champagne as well as fruit juices!” The waitress smiled as she rattled off the ingredients.

The four looked at each other, unsure.

“Fuck it, it’s Vegas, let’s do it.” Keith acquiesced and slammed the money down on the table. The other three cheered.

**_*FLASH*_ **

“Let it ride!” Pidge screamed while pointing at the enormous stack of chips on the table, cocktail in hand as Lance rubbed her shoulders.

The dealer nodded and spun the roulette wheel. They waited in anticipation as it slowed.

“32, black!”

Everyone cheered. Lance picked up Pidge and spun her around, spilling her drink everywhere.

“We’re rich bitches!” Allura threw her hands in the air.

“Always bet on black baby!” Keith patted Pidge on the back.

**_*FLASH*_ **

“Look at them, they’re so sparkly.” Allura cooed in slurred speech at the jewelry in the window.

Keith came and held her from behind.

“One day I’m going to buy one of those for you” he said pointing at the rings.

“Really honey?” She spun around and kissed him, albeit sloppily.

“Mhm” he murmured against her lips as they made out.

“Why wait, we got money!” Pidge pulled the bills out of her purse and fanned them out.

“Man, I love you guys and you guys love us and Keith loves Allura and I love Pidge and why don’t we just fucking get married.” Lance hiccupped as threw an arm around Pidge’s neck, teetering back and forth.

“Yeah let’s just get fucking married” Keith repeated into Allura’s mouth between kisses.

“LET’S FUCKING GET MARRIED!” Pidge yelled waving the cash in the air.

**_*FLASH*_ **

“Allura…baby…you’re the yee to my haw and darlin’ I love you.” Keith mumbled in a southern twang that had come completely out of nowhere as he slid a ring onto her finger. The cowboy hat on his head was slipping off as he attempted to stand up straight.

**_*FLASH*_ **

“Pidge…Katie…Katie Kat, Kitty Baby, Katherine Holt. You’re short, but you’re also like really hot and smart and you make me smile and I’m glad we’re doing this.” Lance rambled on, a red blushy mess as he slipped on her ring, missing a few times before getting it right.

**_*FLASH*_ **

Each couple kissed in some 24-hour chapel in front of a man dressed like Elvis. And old lady played the wedding march on an organ nearby. They were allowed to have a polaroid that counted as their wedding pictures for the low low price of $9.99.

**_*FLASH*_ **

“I would look so cool with a tattoo” Keith uttered in passing as they staggered past a tattoo parlor, the neon lights from the shop glowing on their faces.

“You would look so incredibly sexy.” Allura growled as she ran her hands over his chest.

“Yeah?” His brow arched as he leaned into her kiss.

“Yeah…” she giggled as they succumbed to their 87th make out session of the evening.

“Man, I love you guys and you guys love us and Keith loves Allura and I love Pidge and why don’t we just fucking get tattoos” Lance suggested, carrying Pidge piggy back style as he swayed back and forth.

“Yeah let’s get tattoos” Keith seconded before his tongue was too busy attacking Allura’s face.

“LET’S FUCKING GET TATTOOS!” Pidge whooped making it rain with their newly acquired funds.

**_*FLASH*_ **

“Oh you’re back!” The waitress smiled as she approached the table.

“We would like another golden goose please.” Allura smiled as she pushed a hundred dollar bill across the table.

“Golden swan baby.” Keith giggled.

“Golden pigeon” Pidge corrected.

“You’re my golden pidgeon.” Lance cupped her face.

“That’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me…” her eyes welled up with tears.

“I love you and I’m so lucky you’re my wife.” Lance said before practically tackling her in the booth.

**_*FLASH*_ **

“Lu what the hell are you doing?” Pidge asked and everyone turned around.

Allura walked out of the bar and onto the street carrying the giant gold swan like a baby, still drinking out of it with one of the remaining long looping straws. Her heels scrapped against the concrete as she staggered back and forth.

“What? I paid for it, I’m taking it home” she stated belligerently and took another sip.

“Baby you paid for the drink inside. The swan belongs to the bar.” Keith tried to reason with her.

“Really?”

“Yeah, you just stole” Keith said with a chuckle.

Allura lips formed a pout as she thought it over.

“CHEESE IT!” she yelled suddenly bolting down the street, veil whipping back and forth, drink sloshing around.

“I’m not going back to jail!” Lance blurted out and took off as well.

“You’ve never been to jail idiot!” Pidge screamed and ran after him.

**_*FLASH*_ **

“Oh my…” Allura placed a hand on her chest as all the events from the night before came flooding back. She looked at the swan on the coffee table and cringed.

“I can’t believe we did all that…” Pidge muttered, the color draining from her face.

“What do we do now?” Keith blinked a few times. He might have been the unspoken leader of the group but this was one instance where he was completely baffled.

“Well I dunno about you but I could use some brunch.” Lance chimed in.

Everyone turned to Lance with looks that could kill. Pidge hurled a pillow at him.

“We got completely obliterated, got married, got tattoos, Allura committed a misdemeanor theft  and all you can say is ‘let’s go to brunch’?!” Keith snapped.

Lance paused.

“I think better when I’ve eaten?”

Keith almost lunged at him when Allura caught her boyfr- no husband by the wrist.

“Actually darling, brunch sounds amazing. Then we can sit and decide what to do.” She smiled up at him weakly.

Keith’s shoulders slumped.

“Yeah let’s go get brunch.” He sighed.

“Welp…all right,” Pidge shrugged in defeat, yanking the tiara off her head while simultaneously pulling a stack of cash out of the cleavage of her dress, “let’s fucking get brunch.”


End file.
